If you know me, you might say that I am sensitive. I imagine that is true. Even though I don’t care what people think of me, I care how I make that person feel. This is what motivates me most days. I pray that they see Christ in me, loving them as Christ loves us all. I also hope that they know and can feel how special they are to me.

During holidays, sometimes I go a little overboard with meals. I know that when it comes to especially holidays, we have emotions associated with tradition or expectation. So, during holidays I try to prepare something special for all that I know will be attending. Isn’t that where hurt feelings come from? Unmet expectations or miscommunications.

Another weird thing is that even before I got married, I was sure I didn’t want kids. I had not grown up around kids, most of my association with other humans were adults and elderly adults. Yet, after I got married, and had an unexpected pregnancy that resulted in a miscarriage, my mind changed. Leonard and I decided to have kids, were overjoyed to have a son, and then ecstatic when our daughter was born. All the while they were growing up, I felt like I was in heaven. Surely, a wonderful time in my life.They grew and were married and now have such blessed families of their own.

I struggled with the “empty nest” quite a bit and feel that maybe I am not completely cured of it. Even though, this is the nature of things. They are all in my heart and thoughts everyday.

When your kids move out and spread their wings, they often leave bits of their lives behind. I am cool with the memories they have engraved in my heart. Yet, they leave material things behind that they do not want to clutter their new lives and families with. This leaves a sensitive mother with a dilemma. What do we do with these old t-shirts or other material items that once marked a part of their lives? I try to get them to take them home, but they have moved on. They don’t want the clutter.

When my son lived in Seattle and we sent gifts for them through the mail. I used his old crosscountry, band and other shirts as packing material. This seemed to work well.

My daughter lives closer, so I don’t usually send gifts through the mail. Hmmm. Due to my heart not being able to throw these away because of the feelings and emotions associated with them. I decided to re-purpose them. I made a rag rug with a few of her t-shirts. (I’ve included a picture below) I’m not sure if she will want it, as it took me a bit to figure it out, so there are many imperfections. Thankfully, my kids accept my many imperfections. Isn’t that what life is…learning and growing through our imperfections. I thank my God that he accepts me, despite my many imperfections. This is my life, and maybe yours too. Areas where things go smoothly, and areas where they don’t, but that does not stop us from trudging on to try and make something beautiful.