Posted on by landktheluckyones

Comfort

We mom’s, will do anything to protect our “cubs’ from pain and heartache. We do this each step of their journey of breaking away from us to their adulthood. We are their biggest advocate. Cheering them on with all our might. For us, it does not stop there. We live through our kids. Their moments of joy, their achievements, their pain. When they have spouses and their own children, it continues on, Our “cub family” grows and our heart does as well.

My own heart is breaking for the loss of one of my sweet cubs and the pain the rest of my family is enduring. Some pain, a mom can’t fix. Despite their yearning to do so.

To magnify my own grief, we have lost more family and friends and everyday hear of more pain and suffering in those whom we know.

Often, I can find peace in the Words of my Lord. There are times though, that I don’t feel God speak to me through His Word. He knows me in and out. He knows where to speak to my heart.

He knows I am relational. He knows that I don’t take the care of others for granted. He knows how much I value those around me. Kindness bestowed.

In 2 Corinthians 1, it states that God comforts and encourages us in every trouble so that we will be able to comfort and encourage those who are in any kind of trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

God has comforted me numerous times in my life and sometimes, I didn’t see it until much later. However, during the course of several years, the Lord has been surrounding me with friends and family that He, in his wisdom, knew that I would need for this time. If you are in pain or in a hard season, I imagine He has done that for you as well.

God has comforted me through a dear friend meeting for a cup of coffee and praying over me,cards from those I hold dear, words of comfort from so many. My family’s sacrificial love. Through my sisters in Christ who have surrounded me with love, acceptance, encouragement while my “armor” is a little cracked. Through ladies that I meet with weekly, that mean so very much to me.

Even in unlikely places, such as our financial advisor and his assistant that brought words of comfort and has gifted me with attachments for my boots so that I wouldn’t fall again.

I believe God placed me to work side by side for seven years with a young man. An unlikely friendship, yes. Yet, we share a camaraderie. I believe we have a mutual respect and think highly of one another. He has reached out with encouragement at just the right moment to bless my heart.

These people have humbled my heart in their outreach of an underserving soul and I am filled with love for each one.

I am a selfish person by nature.That has been revealed to me more times than I care to admit this past year. I can feel sorry for myself as quick as you can snap your finger.

I feel the Lord is urging me to put my selfishness aside and look for opportunities to reach out to those around me who are hurting. To comfort those as God has comforted me through the hands of others.

Does it take the pain away? No, but I want to turn my pain into someone else’s comfort. For there are many who are suffering, not just me.

Posted on by landktheluckyones

Helpers

I have read that Mr. Rogers used the advice from his mother to “look for the helpers” when things look scary or tragedy happens.

In my opinion, when you lose a loved one, it is tragic. We often cannot imagine our life without them. Our grief seems to take on a life of its own.

It is in these times, that we need those helpers. Those who extend a “How are you doing?” A memory. Prayers for comfort. Any act of kindness. To try and ease our pain.

I find that in our society, we get wrapped up in “doing our own thing”. We want to be independent. At these times, we don’t need the outreach of others. Or so we think.

I have to admit that I am not good at reaching out when things are ordinary. I am not good at just calling to chat. Mostly, because I don’t do exciting things and dont’ have much to report. That’s not to say, I couldn’t fill that time with words… chatting seems to be something I can do. I have a brother that, if he has not heard from me in a while, he will reach out. Just to see how I’m doing. I appreciate that. I am glad that he is a “helper” when things are not scary or tragic. If he did not take the initiative, we would never connect.

That’s the cool thing about friends and family. Even if we don’t see them for days,months or even years. Their extensions of love and trying to comfort the best that they can are the helpers that we see.

As I have shared in previous posts, my son has lost the love of his life. This is tragic. I cannot find another word to describe it. Within this tragedy, we have lost a daughter. In the midst of this, I have seen helpers in the form of his long-time friend, cousins, his sister, his brother-in-law, aunts, co-workers, former pastor and pastor’s wife and more. Many thoughts, many prayers, who though they may not know what would be helpful at this vast loss, they try to bring comfort to a hurt. They do this out of love.

I deeply appreciate the love that has been shown to me, to my son, to our family. I hope that I may extend the same love to others in their time of need or even in the ordinary.

Posted on by landktheluckyones · 6 Comments

No More Normal

When someone we love passes… we wonder. How can life go on without them? How can there be a “normal” again? Why can’t the world just STOP?

Yesterday, our family lost the love of our son’s life. I never believed that cancer would have the final say. I always thought that I would see her again. It doesn’t seem real. My heart is breaking for not seeing her here again on earth. My heart is breaking for my son and grandsons.

Growing her own veggies 😊

As I look back on when I first met Hyunjin. She came to visit for 2 weeks during Christmas break. I had much anxiety over this. I thought to myself, “what if she doesn’t like us?” That would make for a very unpleasant Christmas break for her. Those anxieties were released when she walked in the door. It was during this visit that she started calling me, “Mom”.We had many memories of playing games and time spent during visits through the years.

I have admired the fact that she gave up everything that was familiar to her to come to a country. The unknown, for the man she loved. From day one, they have relied on each other for everything. They made a home for each other and their two sons.

As saddened as I am and as saddened as I am for my son, our family and all who knew her. I am thankful for the life she lived with my son. I am thankful for the love they had for each other. Many go their entire lives and don’t experience this. Thankful for their family they built together. I am thankful for the memories that we have shared and wish there had been more.

All of us have and continue to love her. I hope she knew how much we loved her.

Posted on by landktheluckyones

This Mom

As I sit here, my heart is broken. My daughter-in-law breathed her last breath this morning. This mom’s heart is broken for her son,her grandsons, her daughter,her husband and herself. All who knew her.

As broken as my heart is…we continue to be “the lucky ones” for having known and loved Hyunjin.

Posted on by landktheluckyones

This Mom’s Heart

During my life, I have not been immune to hard times.

The hardest times, however have been when pain befalls on my children through no fault of their own. This is a devastating situation for a parent. When your heart wants to fix their pain, but you do not have the ability to do so.

I can with deepest honesty state that I do not hate anyone. I do, however, hate how people don’t value others. Life is the most precious gift.

With even more sincerity, I can say that I hate cancer! Twice I have received the news of this devastating diagnosis within my son’s small family. Life is the most precious gift. They have valued life.

I received even more devastating news from my daughter-in-law, Hyunjin when she informed me that the doctors told her to go on Hospice. She said Brian is still trying to process and he would contact me when he was ready. When I told her that I would not give up hope. She shared that she had not either until that morning when the doctors suggested hospice. She said she no longer had hope. This broke my heart.

Later, this same day, she FaceTimed us. She was trying to talk quietly as to not bother her roommate. She said she would be going home the next day. She said that they had told her precious sons. Even though my heart is breaking. How difficult this is for her. Not only in physical pain, from this horrific disease, but also the pain of informing your children how hard the coming days will be.

As we were sharing our love for her, she also replied, “Mom, you love so much. Brian needs space and time.” I will give him this space despite how my heart wants to walk through this with him, Hyunjin and the boys. How even though I cannot take away the pain that they are going through. That I could be a support. I feel by giving space, I am not doing what a mother is supposed to do. It seems like I am not caring.

I realize this is selfishness on my part. Wanting to be a “good Mom”. Not doing anything, doesn’t seem like I’m being a good Mom. For when I view my kids, no matter their age, I still see those sweet little people that I had the privilege of sharing life with and their spouses as my own children.

I will do as Hyunjin suggested. She is the one who knows him better than anyone and she is protecting the man she has loved. I will wait and wait some more if need be until they want my help. However hard that may be.

This is not about me…

This is their story. Their love.

Posted on by landktheluckyones

How Do I help?

Today, my daughter-in-law texted me and informed me that the doctors suggested that they start hospice. She said that my son, Brian is having a hard time processing this and she wanted to contact me but, he would when he could wrap his mind around this.

I asked her how she was processing and she replied that she was okay but worried about her two sons of eleven and almost thirteen.

I told her that I still had hope beyond what the doctors say. She said she did too until this morning. Now, she has none.

How do I help? They like their privacy. My instinct is to rush down and help any way that I can. Yet, they have always been so very private. Enjoying their little 4 person nest.

I am thinking of this as my aunt just went into a medical care facility today and a cousin who was caring for her has just been hospitalized and is confused. A childhood classmate/co-worker, has had a setback from a stroke he experienced in June after showing much improvement. My cousin is struggling with caring for her husband who is basically bed/wheelchair ridden, while she, herself, has afib that they can’t get to the bottom of and now her 4 year old grandson has bone cancer and started treatment. Our brother-in-law had a stroke a couple weeks ago and they thought he was on his death bed but just the last day or so, has started showing some improvement.

These are all huge challenges of people I hold dear. How do I help? I pray, I listen, I get emotional. I pray, “If you will…please heal. Help me, if I have any unbelief.”

Until I hear otherwise, I will continue to have hope for these I hold dear.

Posted on by landktheluckyones

Kids Are Fun

This last Monday, I was able to chaperone for my daughter’s fourth grade class and another fourth grade class.

As their school bus rolled in, I enjoyed watching the kids bound out, chatting, excited, laughing. Eager to see what the rangers had in store for them.

The DNR rangers had an array of activities and did an awesome job. They encouraged them to see the world around them with all their senses.

The kids were pure joy.

Mrs. Bronsink’s 4th grade class

I was sad to see them go, but they had an hour bus ride back to school.

I so appreciate my daughter inviting me to chaperone. The kids asked if I could come to their classroom. I hope I get that opportunity in the future.

Kids are so fun and we,who get a chance to spend time with them are definitely the lucky ones.

Posted on by landktheluckyones · 2 Comments

Sometimes

We want the very best for our kids. We cheer them on to be the best that they can be. We do whatever we can to make life easier for them. Yet, there are times that what they need is beyond what we can give.

This is a blog post by my son,

https://thekirbygang.com/essay.html?fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAR38v6dS8vVUtCaBrbNgFMDkqB7_GAh2J38BsVoixNfqQuE0OzMUnUV3azw_aem_Tis4kgAdmaaHu-AjJN0gPQ

Sometimes, we must remind ourselves that we are the Lucky Ones despite what the world throws at us. Despite the pain. God is good regardless of what goes on in this world.

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I Challenge You

I have to admit that for the last month or two, that I have been watching politics. This is a dark path that leads only to depression. Even though I know that what we see is just a smoke screen.

I am appalled by how much people hate and say horrible things about candidates. I am horrified how the media and candidates can out and out twist the truth and publicize it. I am amazed at how people are brainwashed and believe all the garbage of the media.How families are ripped apart by what they believe and will not back down from supporting their candidate, even if that means being estranged from family members. I challenge you, that when you watch anything about politics or other news, to look at what they are saying. Do they have a negative spin or are they just reporting the news. I think that you will find not much news. I first noticed this during Covid. When things started not making sense. Yes, Covid-19 was deadly, yet that year, heart disease had the most deaths, Cancer being number two and Covid coming in third. Did you see heart death numbers flashed across the screen? Cancer numbers? No, because of the fear that they wanted to instill..to control. To cause division.

When I was in grade school, I had a teacher that had been a POW. He warned us of subliminal messages that get thrown at you while you watch tv. They flash them so quickly that your conscience mind can’t see it. I see that happening, but I also see the repeating of phrases, which is a brainwashing technique. I am so disappointed in the media. I started quite awhile ago, noticing that journalists don’t tell the news. They read scripts of hatred. I have noticed that they put down and discredit a candidate. Why don’t they just state the actual news and not try to make the candidates look bad? I believe without their spin, there would not be such a divide.

I, personally am tempted not to vote. Even though I don’t care for his personality. Trump is crude and arrogant. Yet, when you listen to what he says rather than what the media says, I have not heard lies, I’ve heard what he is passionate about. He is not charismatic and smooth in speech. He downgrades people. He does not fit into the elite. I felt safer in his presidency than the current. Yet, I feel that everything that has been thrown at him has caused him to be bitter and has aged him extensively. If you are a Christian, people automatically assume that you are a Trump supporter and you are characterized and judged. I also don’t care for Harris’s personality. She is also arrogant and condescending. I have noticed her telling out and out lies. The media seems to like her. They never call her out on the lies. She uses the same strategy that Gretchen Whitmer used against Tudor Dixon in regard to abortion and other issues.Twisting what they actually stand for and repeat it over and over. Her DNC speech theme was “joy”. ( Which mirrored Hitler’s strategy) and she keeps quoting “ a new way forward” ( a Marxist strategy). She actually scares me. I feel if she is elected, we will not be a free nation anymore. The media tries to portray her as unintelligent but, she is very intelligent. I see a woman that is controlling and thrives on power. I see us as a Communist nation under her leadership. Regardless of who gets elected, I know there will be chaos and upheaval in our country.

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Having stated all of that, I am returning to my life before watching politics.

I am using any time that I wasted watching the news and politics to get in God’s Word more than I have. To stay connected to Him through His Word and prayer. Leaning on the Holy Spirit to give me the discernment, the wisdom and power to live free from fear in this dark and sinful world. This world will continue to get more dark, but with the Lord, we can live in peace without fear. In doing so, we continue to be the Lucky Ones, blessed by God.

I Challenge YOU to do the same. To turn off that media, draw close to the Lord.

Then,

His peace, which transcends all understanding, will guard your heart and minds in Christ Jesus.

Then,

You also will be a Lucky One!