Recalling a time when my kids were in school. I had a conversation with a women and she mentioned how she had four kids and they all lived in different states. I remember thinking to myself, “How can she live? How can she survive without seeing her kids everyday?” I thought that I could never handle this.

As it turns out, my kids have lived in Lansing, Ann Arbor, Grand Rapids, California, Seattle, Kalkaska and traveled to many states and other countries. I still wish that they lived close, but that doesn’t seem to be the case.

This mum still longs to see my kids and grandkids frequently. I am thankful for the times that they are here and joy fills my soul at the time I spend with them. I see my daughter and family more frequently as she lives just an hour away.

Contact has been hard in regard to my son and two grandsons since he lost his wife in November 2024. Even though I knew it to be true, it broke my heart when he said that he has been in a rut with feelings of apathy. I wish he would draw near to us during this time. As I long for this, it seems that he feels his healing will come from a different place. I will share his Facebook post below.

“Hyunjin adapted quite well to American life when she uprooted her life in Korea to live with me in America. Given her ability to adapt, along with her proficiency in English, sometimes people were surprised to hear that she grew up in a different culture.

That doesn’t negate her background. Hyunjin was Korean. It’s a part of her heritage, and now, that heritage is also a part of our family. It’s a part of me… and it’s also a part of who Andrew and Lucas are – they’re half Korean, after all.

The kids are getting older. It won’t be long before they’re grown adults. I’m proud of both of their work ethic, and I’m glad that they’ve lived well here in America. After all, they are Americans. But they’re also half Korean. They have memories of their mom, and they know what it’s like to visit their grandparents in Korea. But they don’t know much about Korean culture. They don’t know what it was like for their mom when she grew up.

To that end, we’ve decided to live for a year in Korea. Not with Hyunjin’s parents. Not with her brother. But to try to experience what it’s like to live as an independent family in Korea for a little while. Andrew and Lucas were both accepted to Seoul Foreign School, which is a well-known English-taught school in Korea. It will only be for one year: the 2026-2027 school year, starting in August. But I hope that during that time, Andrew and Lucas can come to learn more about their heritage – maybe some of the things that their mom experienced… and maybe some things that have changed since Hyunjin lived in Korea.

It’s a big decision, and there’s definitely some risk involved. But I hope that during this year, the boys will not only experience a different culture, but also come to understand their mom – and an important part of themselves – a little better.”

As much as I long to “be there” for my son and grandsons, I understand why he has made this decision. He continues to honor his wife and her heritage. I do think it is a good opportunity for the kids. Helping them understand their mom more. They will be going to Korea in June for 3 weeks, back to their home for a few weeks and then to Korea for a year. It doesn’t make it any easier for this mum who wants to draw them close.

Having stated this, what I have learned is… Mostly, don’t count on anything! I did survive without seeing my kids everyday. Even though things aren’t as I’d like them to be, it doesn’t mean they are not playing out a better way.

Mostly, God gives us grace for each step of our journey wherever that takes us.