It’s been a couple months since I’ve made a blog post. Time passes so quickly. In this season, I continue to ruminate the things of this life that I do not or cannot understand.

Despite this, life is a bit different these days. Since Leonard’s surgery, it seems that he continues to struggle to get his energy back. Due to this, his interest in experiencing life away from the confines of our property, is quite limited. My son, who has always been my optimistic and positive offspring has turned bitter since the loss of his precious wife. He now feels like life is unfair and has no meaning. He’s angry at what he has experienced. I cannot deny the fact that life is unfair. Jesus forewarned us of this, but often we choose not to listen. Thinking it will be different for us. That WE can determine our destiny. Or, that this only applies to our spiritual life. I believe that our spiritual life is the part of us that is real life. That permeates every part of our being. This is the part of us that will remain after our earthly body decays. What we experience in our daily lives is our spiritual life. Whether that is dry and we don’t want to accept a higher power or whether we rely on His Spirit for everything. Or somewhere in between.

In spite of this negative thinking, we have experienced many fun and blessed moments that I thank God for. Mainly, that He sustains us. We’ve only fished a small amount this year, but I caught a large mouth bass that was quite fun to catch. It gave up a good fight. After pics, I returned it to it’s home. That day, was not it’s final day.

I started working at EJ Cornerstone church as a part-time secretary. The people have been so encouraging. I continue to get lifted up by those I come in contact with. Whether that be friends, ladies I meet with on a regular basis or an occasional stranger.

My daughter and grandson stop by periodically to bring us joy. I was thankful that they were around for July 4th to celebrate with us, as was my son and his boys. Words cannot describe what this did to my heart! Being that temperatures were close to 100 degrees F., Water was essential! 🙂

For the past six weeks, we have been studying about the Holy Spirit in our Thursday Bible Studies.

We make Him seem so mysterious. I guess the mysterious part is how He lives within us. I am often guided by His loving hand and know without a shadow of a doubt that it is Him flowing through me. We have learned that the Holy Spirit’s mission is to reveal and glorify God.

If we cleave, rely on and trust Christ, the Holy Spirit (The Living Water) will flow from our innermost being, continuously. This study suggested that we think about the attributes of water. (Refreshing, satisfying, flowing). These are all things we receive from the Spirit. Isaiah 55, reminds us that we don’t need anything to come to Him except self-surrender that accepts the blessing. It also says to “incline your ear and consent to the Divine will”. I think this is where we struggle. We don’t want to consent to the Divine will unless it goes along with our will. If we can’t tidy it up in a little bow and say we understand everything, we don’t want to consent or accept it. God says His thoughts/ways are higher than ours. We know this to be true, but do we live as though we know it to be true?

Another chapter that we have read is Psalm 42. Many times, I have read the section which states, “As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God”. Thinking of myself, that this is not true of me. As I meditate on this verse, I believe that it IS true. I need the Living Water of the Spirit every moment of everyday, for encouragement, for love, for direction. When He prompts me to reach out with word or deed, He never steers me wrong. Psalm 42, continues on with ‘My tears have been my food day and night, while people say to me all day long, “Where is your God?” People often say this to us when bad things happen. This psalmist claims that he will remember God’s kindness to get Him through those tough days. He will remember those days of blessing. Yes, in my life, there have been many days of blessing.

When bad things happen, we tend to blame God. We don’t cling to those moments of kindness. We become discouraged. The Holy Spirit’s job is to remind us of the things of God…of His goodness. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 tells us to “praise God, the Father of compassion and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”

To be honest, I have struggled with this verse, because sometimes, I have not felt comforted by God in my distress. Except of course, the distress I had from the results of my sin and the comfort I received from knowing He forgave me. Or felt that I could comfort others. As I have been meditating on these passages, I believe that it is the goodness of God’s nature that comforts us. Those times when He did answer prayer, when we were comforted by knowing His love for us. That Jesus knows and has experienced betrayal, rejection, unanswered prayer for the higher good. That God does what He says He will do. Sometimes, it’s the things the Holy Spirit points out to us in Scripture. Therein is our comfort and also when we have experienced something devastating, it can give us more compassion for others that too, are experiencing devastation.

John Wilmot ( I really don’t know anything more about this man, other than this quote), wrote, “Before I got married, I had six theories about raising children, now I have six children and no theories.” I heard this many years ago, and have thought of it often. Isn’t it so the truth! So, it is with life. We can have many theories, but until we experience something, theories don’t mean much. It’s the same with God, with the Holy Spirit, with Jesus. We can have many theories but until we experience Him, it doesn’t mean a whole lot.

I shared this song with my Bible Study group and it has brought me comfort through the years.https://youtu.be/Y3TBiuIpjDA?si=xIrF6Dyrsg-xBFzg

“Halleluiah for the heartache, halleluiah for the good days, Halleluiah for every breath we get.”

Yes, let us sing “Halleluiah, Amen” to our Lord for all we experience.

My disclaimer: Even though we thank God for this life and all that we experience, it does not mean that this process is quick or easy or to be taken lightly. It does not mean that I always handle hard times well or that my heart doesn’t break for my son and the loss of his wife or the changes I’ve seen in my husband, which are small compared to the loss of a beloved spouse. Losing someone so precious is so very hard all the way around. Yet, Jesus has experienced all and is right by our side, loving us…because that is who He is. In this, we say, “Hallelujah “.