As I stated in my last post, we are going through the book, “Control Girl”.

Today’s lesson, asked the following question: “Have you ever been the victim of a controlling person?”

Oh my goodness! All through my life, I have been surrounded by controlling people!

One of my irritations with people that are not only controlling but also dominating is this…They pride themselves, and others praise them for “telling it like it is”. For stating boldly what they feel, what they will allow, their opinions as if they are law. Yes, they are truthful, but at what cost? Most people that have these traits, in my opinion, don’t want to hear anyone else’s point of view. They do not give others the same liberties that they, themselves take. Their interests, opinions, actions and how others relate to them is their only priority. Simply put, all of life evolves around them.

It seems that I am married to one of these people and through the years has caused me much frustration.

It is funny how God orchestrates things. As we are doing this study, a recent event has caused me to take inventory of my own self.

We recently, had our roof replaced. We have had a skylight in our bathroom since we purchased our house. I have loved having that skylight because it brought light and joy into that room. My husband decided that it would be more energy efficient to just remove the skylight and just roof over the top of it. I did not want this, even if it would be more efficient. As of yesterday, that bathroom is dark and gloomy even midday.

Where does my mind go? I am so very saddened and disappointed that outside light no longer enhances that room. I know! Seems like a small thing. Yet again, where does my mind go?

When we picked out our home, the model had a fireplace with a beautiful bookcase and sliding door in the dining room. Does my house have these? No. Apparently, they are not efficient. Over and over, my wishes of things that would bring me joy are of no value.

As I type this, I am reminded of the love chapter in 1 Corinthians 13, where it states that love keeps no record of being wronged.

Again, our lesson, asks the question: “How have you responded to that controlling person?” Then, it asks the question. “How would you respond differently if you were putting God in control?”

If I had put God in control, I wouldn’t be tallying up all my hurts.

The author, made this statement: “You don’t have to be in control to be a control girl.

God is asking me, as He did Hagar. “ What are you trying to escape and what do you want to find?” Again, the answer to both is control. God pressed Hagar to look both directions. Was she truly on the path headed for freedom?

When I pout and get bitter about all the times that my opinions didn’t matter, I am trying to take control. It puts me into bondage of unforgiveness. Which harms my heart and my relationship to God. It’s only in laying this before God, the author of “equality” that I get freedom.

Throughout this study, over and over, I am reminded that when I get upset about things, I am trying to control the situation. For my voice to be heard. Last week, In this chapter that focuses on Hagar, it reminded us that God sees us.He sees us when we are (or feel as if we are) mistreated.

So often, I have stewed about situations that were out of my control. I pray, as I continue to go through this journey, that God would give me the power to show my husband and others, the same enormous grace that He has given me.